Preparing myself for motherhood led me down an absolute warren of learning! I tore through so many resources on the parenting style I wanted to pursue, learning everything from the impact of birthing to the first few months of life and beyond. One thing that stuck out to me was the intricate design of the human baby…something that many lament about due to its impact in lower sleep and being “touched out” for parents who feel like they just can’t separate from their newborn. Ever.
But this is something that baby specialists and sleep-trainers have tried to “fix” in so many babies. It is inherent in them, this need to cry the instant they are separated from Mama. There is a reason for clusterfeeding in the first few months and secure attachments and separation anxiety, right? So deeper I dove, trying to find what it is in a baby’s makeup that makes them so reliant on their caregivers.
In that search—and in the first few months of motherhood—I discovered not just the why for human babies, but a blueprint of what it means to be a child of God.
So, first off—why are human babies so dependent?
The answer is physiological, ingrained in the artful design of both mother and baby. It turns out, humans are “carry mammals.” When we look at the biological design of a human mother’s breastmilk, we find it’s lower in fat and protein than, say, a deer’s. This is because, unlike a deer—who can feed her fawn and then leave it for hours in a safe space while she forages for food—human babies are designed to be near their mothers at all times. We don’t regulate our own temperature, our food source isn’t design to sustain us…we are not biologically wired to be apart from our life-giver and sustainer for quite some time.
Many nights I laid awake watching my infant son sleep, and I pondered what it means to be a child of God. I suppose I understood it in theory, intellectually, with a mind that had outgrown childhood dependence. Yet there he was, tiny, helpless, absolutely dependent on me; and what was beautiful was, he absolutely knew it. He knew to cry out to me because he knew I would answer. This wasn’t intellectual, it was innate; from the moment he entered the world, he knew I was his sustainer and that to be apart from me meant cold, danger, starvation, death.
That is a huge responsibility. And yet as I write these words, pausing to pick up my son for the 45,000th time, I realize the beauty of being called children of God. He desires us to take our first breath above His heart. He wants us to be innately reliant upon Him, to recognize Him as our sustainer, our provider, our source of warmth, safety, nourishment, and life. He wants us to be securely attached to Him so that we feel safe about launching into a strange, often scary world—knowing that we can always come back to our Source of safety and comfort for shelter and a recharge before we go back out there again.
Before I become a mother, I thought that the dependence of a broken human being like me must become wearisome to God; like, how many times can this chick mess up the same way, go down the same roads, and come running back begging for help and deliverance? Yet motherhood has taught me that love doesn’t keep the score; my son can come to me in tears a million times in one day, and I’m not ever going to count it against him. How could I? I’m blessed to be his safe place where he feels secure, letting out those big emotions…because he knows I love him and my arms are always open, no matter what.
What does it mean to be a child of God? It means we’re made in His image. The way I look into my son’s face and see my eyes, my mouth, my husband’s hair and the shape of his head, we look in the eyes of God and see the reflection of His love, His glory, His perfect plan.
What does it mean to be a child of God? It means He is our provision, our source, that He carries and sustains us. It means that we were never made to be parted from Him; our inherent design, our very makeup is such that we’re intended to cleave close, to be carried, rocked, nourished, soothed, and loved by the One who breathed life into us.
What does it mean to be a child of God? It means an endless tether of love flowing between us. It means He is not holding a record of how many times we need Him, He is not tracking and tallying, He is not preparing for the inevitable cutoff where we’ve used up our quotient of “God-time” and now we must sustain ourselves on our own. We can’t; we’re no more capable of that than my seven-month-old!
What does it mean to be a child of God? It means we always have a home base, a safe place from which we launch out into the world—but then we always return to our Heavenly Father, His open arms, His ready hands. We will never find the door shut in our faces; His home and His embrace is always ready for His children.
Understanding the responsibility, privilege, and joy of being a mother also made me realize the blessing of being a child of God. I’ve become so much more aware of how much God loves us and how He wants us to rely on Him for everything. He designed us in His image, a beautiful relationship of reliability, sustainability, safety, comfort, and love. And each day as I pour my heart and soul into my son and see him become a braver, more secure, happier child, I see the absolute brilliance in how this works with God—that when we draw near to Him, when we are unashamed and unabashedly living in the reality of being His children, we too will become braver, more secure, more full of joy.
What does it mean to be a child of God? It means to thrive within the shelter of His grace, His provision, His teaching, and above all, His wonderous love!
